Doing the job that I do, I often hear stories about sexual escapades or get asked questions about sexual behaviour by friends, family and acquaintances – it’s an occupational hazard. Over the years I’ve noticed a reoccurring theme, and that is how to tell if you are good in bed – or more specifically how to tell if your partner is enjoying themselves while you make love.

It can sometimes be difficult to know if your partner is having a good time in bed – not all women are as vocal as porn stars about their level of enjoyment. In a long term relationship the best and easiest way to know, is to ask your partner. But if you are with someone new you may not feel comfortable asking for feedback while you’re ‘on the job’. The good news is that there is another way to tell what hits the spot for her and this is by learning to read her sexual body language.

Movement…
During intercourse and as the body moves towards orgasm there are subtle clues that you can tune into to reassure yourself that you are on the right track. Generally the first and most obvious clue is movement. If your partner is writhing around, grinding and pushing up against you, it’s a good bet that she is enjoying the moment. If, however, she is lying there like a sack of potatoes while you give it your best shot, then things probably aren’t happening for her and you should change positions or stimulate her with your hands or mouth instead.

Drawing You In
How a woman uses her arms during sex can be a good indicator of how she is feeling because her body should react naturally to the situation at hand. If she has her arms around you or is caressing you as you make love then her body is saying that she is comfortable and enjoying the situation. However, if you find her pushing you away, shying away or covering herself up then the signs are not good at all and you should change what you are doing pronto.

Hips Don’t Lie
In a man on top position, as things start to heat up you should feel her hips begin to move in time with yours. Good sex is often synchronized sex, and that is because repeated movements in the right spot produce orgasms. If she doesn’t meet your thrusts then her sexual body language is telling you to change something - like position, rhythm and/or pressure.

Quickening Breath
As a woman becomes sexually aroused her breathing patterns will change. The breath will become faster and possibly shallower as her body prepares for orgasm. Her heart rate will increase, her body temperature will rise, she might become flushed in the cheeks and on the chest, and her nipples may become erect. So if you read these body language cues, you’re well on your way.

Sex is an important aspect in most (if not all) relationships, so if you suspect that she’s not having a good time in the sack, you need to consider the possibility that you are not the Adonis that you thought you were and ask for some guidance. Most women will be able to tell you or show you how they like to be touched and stimulated. So carefully watch and listen, with a little practice you should be able to bring out your partner’s erotic best. Always remember that women are different, so what worked for your last girlfriend won’t necessarily work for this one; keep mixing up your routine and trying out new moves and soon enough you’ll find something that hits the right spot.